senior ap*english final essay 1
[ essay number two | friendship ]
friend /frend/ n. 1. one with whom one enjoys mutual affection and regard.
2. sympathizer, helper.
friend·ship /fréndship/ n. 1. being friends; relationship between friends
2. friendly disposition felt or shown.
Friendship has meant so much to me in high school, even more so in life. I only recently realized the importance of friendship in my life, and now I regret taking so many of my friendships for granted. It took all four years of high school for me to realize who my friends were, and who my real friends have been.
I now know that you won't truly know a person until you accept them for all that they are, regardless of whether or not you like every single characteristic that embodies that person. To fully accept someone is to accept that person's strengths, as well as weaknesses. I wish I had known that in the past three years.
Now that I've figured that much out, I've been trying to figure out the people who really put in an effort to know me, and those who simply didn't want to accept me for who I was. The people who I consider to be my better friends are the ones who have stood by me, and still stand by me, even after my weaker characteristics are revealed. My better friends help me laugh at my weaker characteristics, and let me know that it's not so bad in contrast to the whole picture.
I'm a very ambitious person. Those I consider friends are the people who truly support my ambitions in full. My friends are the people who have had faith in me, and believed in me.
I guess you could say that I aspire to inspire. I long to inspire other people to do great things with their lives, because I feel that every individual person in this world can truly do great things. The only reason that I want to inspire is because it is my friends who have inspired me to do so. I wish to pass on the inspiration that they give to me.
Through high school, I have had the pleasure of making several friends, all from diverse backgrounds and social groups. I can honestly say most, if not all, of these people have made an impact on my character and have left a piece of themselves inside me. I can only hope that I had the privelege to do the same to them.
Because of the vast inspiration that my friends have bestowed upon me, saying goodbye to a lot of these people has proven to be difficult. The difficulty lies not in the fact that I feel that I'll lose contact with them, but because I feel that I had taken the time I had to maintain many of these friendships for granted. I feel that I have already lost contact with several of my closer friends.
I started high school with one very close friend. We talked to eachother about everything and anything. We talked about girls, music, and the Boyz II Men concert we had to miss because we would've failed band if we went. He even invited me to events from his temple, and introduced me to several of his friends from his youth group. I felt like a part of his family. Our friendship was so strong, until this year. For whatever reason, I feel like we grew apart. Maybe it was my fault, I can't help but think that it was my fault. It seems really stupid for me to let us grow apart, since he sits behind me in english this year. It's really hard to say "goodbye" to him because I feel like I already did...or at least he already did.
I made another close friend at the beginning of high school. We met at band camp, and I eventually convinced him to switch instruments with me. From there, our friendship grew very very close. But, I started dating a girl that year, and we started growing apart. After I broke up with the girl, he started seeing her. Our friendship was never the same. Things never really worked out between the two of them. I forgave him, sort of. I always held something against him because I felt like he betrayed my trust in him. I really regret letting that come between the two of us. I keep on feeling like we should be better friends than what we currently are...and I feel like the time that I could have completely reconciled our friendship may have already passed.
When I joined choir, I made a really good friend in a really weird way. He and I must have had the same taste in girls, because we'd always be interested in the sames girls, and he would always end up getting the girl. Somehow, a good bond grew out of that. We were the best of friends for about a year and a half. It wasn't until recently that I felt like he was growing away from me...maybe I was too, since I had a major conflict with the people he decided to hang out with. With that conflict, I feel like he's not even trying to maintain the friendship like I am. Saying "goodbye" to him is going to be difficult because I don't want to, but I feel like he actually does want to.
With the lost friendships come the new ones, and the ones that I have come to value more and more. So, I guess there really is an upside to all of this.
Last night, I was coming home, and I was crying about these lost friendships and talking to my girlfriend. She told me that "when one door closes, there's always an open window."
I've realized that there really are several open windows.
I used to get in fights with this one girl all of the time...once every few weeks, at least. But, I could never really be mad at her forever...neither could she. We both marvel at the fact that our friendship has last as long as it has...we both value eachothers' friendship very much. As much as we argue with eachother, we have a lot in common...I think that may be the reason why we argue.
It's really funny, the same story goes for another girl, and another guy. I've realized that true friendship trancends petty arguements and conflicts. A true friendship can endure the little fights that seem so big at the time.
Finally, there's my girlfriend. The thing is, she's more than a girlfriend to me--she's also my best friend. It is so awesome to have this reciprocated love between myself and my best friend. She, more than any other friend, brightens up my every morning. It's going to be difficult Monday morning, walking into room 113 for the last time to say good morning and give her roses. It's going to be really difficult accepting the fact that I won't be able to do that again. But, I am optomistic, because that's just one small part of our relationship that is going away...there are so many other parts of our relationship that we both have immense joy in.
Now that I've actually poured my thoughts out, I've realized something more. It's going to be difficult to say "goodbye" to those I feel that I've already parted with in one way. I'm not so scared about saying "goodbye" to those that I currently have strong bonds with, because I have faith that I now have the strength and knowledge to maintain those friendships.
Maybe the friendships will come and go, but they will always continue leaving a part of themselves with me, and I will always try to return the favor. I think that my friends will always continue to inspire me in the way that I hope to inspire them. My friends are the strength that I never knew that I had, the faith that I thought I had lost. I just want to be the same thing for every one of them.
