consider me incredible

originally written 09.23.03

you should consider me incredible...or at least consider me something. i've got nothing, you've got nothing--we might have something--and we've got nothing to lose. so, let's take some time sometime and see if these nothings can develop into something that can develop into something more...because we're all looking for something more. something would be nice. anything would be nicer...nicer than nothing. i'm more than nothing, you're more than nothing...you seem like something...something else.

fuzzy thinking in regards of your city

originally written 09.17.03

this vibe, this signal you send
(or the complete lackthereof)
confuses me because my
overanalytical tendacies take over
when you pop
into my mind
into my sight
into my conversations
i'm building these bridges that
i don't know that i should cross
'cause
i don't know if i want to cross
i don't know if you want me to cross
SHIT, i don't know if this bridge even exists.
woman, i've seen postcards of your city for years,
and this is the first time i've visited...
i don't know if i'm getting invitations to
stay the day
stay the afternoon
stay the night...
i don't know if you're wanting me to move in.
there's one vacant lot in your town,
and you often reminded me of the
potential candidates to fill this space,
and we often talk of keeping the lot
open and vacant. i try
to not think about it...but rather
i think about whether there's anything to
think about or if there's nothing to
think about.

killer

originally written 09.17.03

your words are pinned up
against my ears while
the steel from your knife
presses against my throat,
and it only gets colder
the more i anticipate
the idea of not feeling
the heat of your words,
the cool of your knife.
your mouth is a barrel
shooting hollow points
through my head.

you're killing me.

you've killed me.

i am dead.

i am reborn
and in this new life
you won't exist
because i don't even
know you anymore.

joke

originally written 09.16.03

you pulled me into your foregrounds, awarded me solos, and shone the spotlight onto my face. in this, i smiled and sang while my voice stood out among the masses. you applauded me, praised me, and asked for encores.

then, you pushed me into your backgrounds, i became an understudy for the chorus, and dimmed the stagelights upon me. in this, i became no one...just a fad, a trend, a quick fix for the audience of one. the applause disappeared, as did the acclaim...it was all replaced with laughter...as i am your latest joke.

goodbye...minus the good

originally written 09.15.03

i thought you'd always be here
right now you've made it so clear.
ticket stubs i'll hold on to
as my last memory of you.
if i ever see you pass me by
don't let it be in the arms of some random guy
'cause it's enough to make me break and burn...
i guess it's something i'll have to learn.

i thought you'd have the decency
to at least say goodbye to me.
photos of you pinned up in my mind
remind me how you left me behind.
if i ever see you pass me by
don't let it be in the arms of some random guy
'cause it's enough to make me break and burn...
i guess it's something i'll have to learn.

goodbye, goodbye.
goodbye, goodbye.
carry some memories in the back of your mind,
and carry this song, let it sink into your heart.

i shouldn't have to try
to find a reason to justify--
i'll tell myself this isn't wrong
to make it easier to move on.
if i ever see you pass me by
don't let it be in the arms of some random guy
'cause it's enough to make me break and burn...
i guess it's something i'll have to learn.

goodbye, goodbye.
goodbye, goodbye.
carry some memories in the back of your mind,
and carry this song, let it sink into your heart.

carry some memories in the back of your mind,
and carry this song, let it sink, let it sink.
carry some memories in the back of your mind,
and carry this song...

goodbye, goodbye.
goodbye, goodbye.
carry some memories in the back of your mind,
and carry this song, let it sink into your heart.

letter to a stranger

letter to a stranger
originally written 09.08.03

you walk on by,
don't take a glance
to the world around, you
don't give a chance
to willing strangers
with tired eyes,
this world's so small
you'll never realize.

like rolling thunder
my eyes could crash
straight into you
in just a flash.
but you're so numb
you'll never feel it--
or maybe you do...
but you just conceal it.

if i said "hi, how are you doing?
by the way, tell me your name."
would you brush me off or talk to me?
would you ever look at me the same?
instead of just another stranger
i'd be a familiar face
and be some guy you'd met before
instead of just taking up space.

this world's so rich
and you're so poor
'cause you're so scared
of finding a little more
'bout your next door neighbors
or that check-out girl--
don't be so bitter
'cause it's a sweet world.

if i said "hi, how are you doing?
by the way, tell me your name."
would you brush me off or talk to me?
would you ever look at me the same?
instead of just another stranger
i'd be a familiar face
and be some guy you'd met before
instead of just taking up space.

there's so much space
you've wedged between
you and them,
you and me.
there's so much space
placed inbetween
you and the world,
wait and see.

if i said "hi, how are you doing?
by the way, tell me your name."
would you brush me off or talk to me?
would you ever look at me the same?
instead of just another stranger
i'd be a familiar face
and be some guy you'd met before
instead of just taking up space.

drowning

originally written 09.10.03

i want to be
so lost with you,
these words you say
tear me in two.
i don't know
what you need,
but i need you
to need me.

but if you don't
i'd like to say i understand,
you need to know
it's not so simple: i can't.
we've lost control,
this whole thing's so out of hand.
i'm in too deep,
deeper than i ever planned.

drowning in words, drowning in noise,
lost in your crowds, lost in your void.
how much longer will it be like this?
it's been so long since i felt your kiss.

i want to be
found in your light--
i wish you'd set me
within your sight.
the words you say
cut like a knife.
could you fit me
into your life?

but if you can't
i'd like to say i'd understand,
you need to know
it's not so simple, i can't.
we've lost control,
this whole thing's so out of hand.
i'm in too deep,
deeper than i ever planned.

drowning in words, drowning in noise,
lost in your crowds, lost in your void.
how much longer will it be like this?
it's been so long since i felt your kiss.

julie's song (summer collage)

originally written 09.04.03

i drank a sip of tea today
and dedicated it to you.
i wanna call you up real soon
and tell you everything that's new.
i wonder what your weather's like,
it's cooling off out here.
i wonder what your sky is like,
'cause the orange coast's so clear.

these indy kids are not the same
ever since you drove back home.
all these drinks have lost their punch,
and i think jess feels so alone:
she doesn't talk to me no more,
i guess you were our strongest link.
because of you i know i'm strong,
because you never saw me weak.

this will be a summer collage
of words meant to massage
an aching heart filled up with photographs
and misses all the laughs.

i though about the night
that we hung out for the first time:
fries and shakes then a movie
at the spectrum of irvine.
and i cannot forget those times
when you were drunk then called me up.
let's drop a note to winter break
and tell it to hurry up.

this will be a summer collage
of words meant to massage
an aching heart filled up with photographs
and misses all the laughs.

i can't wait to wear these wintercoats
and longsleeve shirts and turtlenecks.
i hate this fall of summer,
i can't wait until i see you next.
so i'm guessing that cell phone calls
and IMs will just have to do.
and just know
that orange county is still missing you.

this will be a summer collage
of words meant to massage
an aching heart filled up with photographs
and misses all the laughs.