[ which ] r o a d . . .
originally written 07.12.02

where do i go?
which road do i take?
do i take the off-ramp in a few miles,
or do i stay on the expressway?
if i take the off-ramp
then i'll be faced with slower moving traffic,
unfamiliar speeds, unfamiliar vehicles.
i'll miss the pace of the traffic,
i'll have to deal with the stop and go of the signals.
the road signs will look different,
my car won't run the same.
i never wanted to pull off to the off-ramp,
i never wanted to push the brake pedal,
i never wanted to stop.
--
if i stay on the expressway,
i run the risk of getting into another crash.
i run the risk of injuring myself,
i'm risking hurting another driver.
if i get into another accident
will i necessarily get back up?
will i be able to drive again?
(just don't get into another serious accident.)
you've spent your time,
and you're finally learning how to become a better driver.
you're learning how to drive more responsibly,
how to deal with road rage.
but, what if the highway suddenly ends?
what if the freeway doesn't want you to drive there anymore?
--
also, if i take the off-ramp,
how do i get over my longing to
get back on the beloved expressway?
--
decisions, decisions...
the off-ramp doesn't come for another 70-80 miles...
i can decide where to go once i get closer.
.
.
.