positivity
originally written 05.24.03

it's something i can't
quite get a good grip onto
or a clear-focused picture
of -- that thing
you know damn well
is there but you
question its existance
anyways...(at least
i question its presence)
it's something i can
seem to donate to
everyone else, but can
never find it in
myself -- this energy
seems so foreign while
it is so native
to everyone else.
apparently it attracts
negativity and provides
a stable balance -- but
what could account for
my instability? i'm
looking for that so-called
equilibrium -- could it
really be there if
i can't sense it?
i can't make sense of it.