awareness breeds torment
originally written 04.10.03

with social awareness comes social conscience.
with self-awareness comes self-consiousness.
in gaining that which builds character
comes self-torture...never being able
to live up to the ideals you've set upon yourself.
how can one be good enough for others
when one cannot be good enough of oneself?
there's a ridiculousness in becoming cynical
of the world when self-skepticism
becomes a way of life.
ethics and moral code mean everything and nothing.
the value of integrity becomes both rich and insignificant.
life in limbo is a confusing torment
where escape becomes seemingly unattainable.
working so hard to gain this torture chamber
only adds insult to injury.
working to hear the heartbeat of social conscience
becomes a masochistic endeavor....
never being able to find pleasure in pain.
never being able to find pleasure anywhere.